midlife crisisIt’s ok everyone – I’m alright. I am NOT having a midlife crisis!

Watching Sharon Horgan’s documentary ‘On The Verge Of A Midlife Crisis’ last night, I almost choked on my 70% dark chocolate when I realised: “Some people may think I’m having a midlife crisis!”

I can assure you, there’s no crisis here – unless you call having a few epiphanies & making some ballsy decisions for my greater happiness a ‘crisis’.

What a stupid term for it anyway. How can something positive & constructive be considered a crisis?

Maybe the ‘crisis’ part refers to that awful period before you finally decide “F#CK IT!” That time when you’re miserable & feel your soul slowly decaying while you’re stuck in a job, a relationship or a business that doesn’t fulfil you.

Now THAT’S a crisis! Beyond that, I can’t see why you’d call it that.

One of the women featured had a fabulous definition. I may be paraphrasing slightly here:

I’m framing that!

She’d traded her successful business for life on a tiny barge with her family (yes – living on the water – in the UK!…Brrr). She seemed happy and at peace, not missing her former 300-pair strong (!) shoe collection one little bit.

Maybe we just get to the age where we think: “What’s it all about?” We suddenly realise: “This is my life! And it’s not getting any longer.”

If we’re not living our life honestly and in line with our values, it can feel pretty empty. What good is money without a family if that’s what you value? What good is spending all your time making other people happy if you never get to do anything that makes YOU happy?

I wish those who are stuck there the loving support of close family & friends that I have. People will never cease to surprise you. Often it’s the most unlikely people who’ll come up & say “Good on you!”

It does take a certain level of self-confidence to bravely do what we REALLY want, without fearing the opinions of others. This is probably why it takes most of us until our 40s to actually do something about it.

As my darling husband says:

  Smart man, that one – excellent taste in women too.

The alternative? Pretend it’s not real, stick your head in the sand, pop another Valium & inject some more Botox – maybe buy another pair of shoes!

(Ok – I take that back. Shoes are NOT a symptom of an unfulfilled life. Shoes are beautiful & good for the soul. Sorry, shoes! I think I’ll go hug a pair now…)

Certainly in my mid thirties I started doing things I never had the courage to do before. I left a marriage, took up circus arts for exercise (it turns out you CAN learn hand stands & cartwheels in your thirties!), bought a motorbike, started a business, joined a rock band, decided to write a book, … and I’m still going. The more crazy stuff I do, the more fun I’m having & the braver I get.

If this is a crisis, I’m loving it!

And best of all: Once you’re brave enough to start living your life how you really want, you can look in mirror every day & say “Good on you!”

Much love,  Miriam

How about you? Had midlife crisis? What are your thoughts on it? Just scroll down a bit further & share your comments.