The Broke Single Mum Version of Me

There was a season in my life where I was a broke single mum.

Not metaphorically.

Literally.

Two kids under five.
An engineering career that had completely fallen apart.
No corporate ladder to climb back onto – and no desire to resurrect it.
No financial safety net.

I was earning less than my rent.

There was a day I stood in the supermarket and burst into tears because my bill was ten dollars more than I expected.

Ten lousy dollars!

I used to add up every single item in my trolley as I walked the aisles.

Every petrol fill made me shake in my boots.
Every electricity bill felt ike a mountain to conquer.
Every unexpected expense felt like a threat to my survival.

I would lie awake at night doing mental maths.

How much do I need this week?
What’s due tomorrow?
What if I can’t sign another client?
What if I can’t make the rent?
What if starting this business was a mistake?

I had chosen to start a finance business because I wanted flexibility.

I didn’t want to put my kids in daycare.
I didn’t want to juggle corporate bullshit with school pickups and sick kids.
I simply didn’t want to rebuild a career that didn’t fit my life goals.

So I built something from scratch in a brand-new industry – one I knew nothing about… (as you do… )

But it worked:
Around school hours.
Around bedtime routines.
Around homework and housework.

But I was terrified.

That version of me lived in constant financial anxiety.

And that kind of stress leaves a mark.

Scarcity Leaves an Imprint

When you live under sustained financial pressure, it leaves an imprint.

Even when revenue starts growing…
Even when logically you know you’re okay…
Your body still remembers.

Your nervous system stays in fight-or-flight.

So even when my coaching business started to grow, I would watch my numbers from a place of fear.

If income dipped slightly, my body reacted.

If sales slowed, I felt it physically.

I wouldn’t allow myself to relax.

Because somewhere deep inside was still that woman earning less than her rent and wondering if she’d made a catastrophic mistake.

This is what people don’t see.

Mindset work isn’t about pretending you’ve never struggled.

It’s about retraining your nervous system so that old scarcity doesn’t run your present-day decisions.

The $50,000 Test

Fast forward to this year.

To the moment I cancelled retreats and refunded payments because I realised Martin was taking a downward slide.

I said goodbye to $40-$50k in profit I’d been counting on.

And I was the breadwinner – so we’re not just talking ‘bonus income’… 

So I watched myself carefully.

Because I wanted to see whether that old imprint would rise up.

Whether panic would grip my chest.
Whether I’d lie awake doing the maths.
Whether I’d scramble to launch something to replace it.

And it didn’t.

There was disappointment. Of course.
There was a moment of “Wow… that’s a lot of money.”

But there was no panic.

No survival mode.
No frantic energy.
No desperate strategy session.

I just knew everything would be okay.

That’s REAL growth.

That’s nervous system maturity.

That’s what it looks like when your baseline has genuinely shifted.

The Hospital Equipment Moment

One of the clearest examples of that shift happened when I ordered all the hospital equipment for the house.

Hospital bed.
Wheelchairs.
Commode.
Everything we needed to make Martin comfortable.

I didn’t even ask what it would cost.

And that is not something I say lightly.

There was a time in my life when I cried over ten dollars in a supermarket, for crying out loud. (no pun intended)

There was a time I tracked every cent.

But in that moment, I simply trusted.

I knew we had buffers.

I knew we had built stability.

And I didn’t begrudge using it.

I CELEBRATED having them!

The old version of me would have spiralled.

This version just ordered what the man I love needed in his final weeks.

That is a profound shift.

And it didn’t happen by accident.

It happened through years of doing the internal work.

Embarrassment Without Shame

There was another important indset moment too.

When I realised there was a big fat crack in my strategy.

And I felt embarrassed.

Because I teach this stuff.

I thought I knew better.

But here’s the difference.

The embarrassment didn’t turn into shame.

It turned into data. Information. Feedback. Refinement.

It became, “Okay. That wall needs strengthening.”

That is a mature mindset.

It’s not about perfection. It’s about resilience.

Mindset Is About Safety

Mindset isn’t affirmations slapped on top of anxiety.

It’s not pretending you’re abundant while your nervous system is in chaos.

It’s about experiencung safety in your nervous system.

Having a nervous system that feels stable enough to make calm financial decisions – even in a crisis.

Even when you’re blowing through buffers you spent years building.

If you’ve come from financial instability…

If you’ve been made redundant…
If you’ve had a business collapse…
If you’ve been in debt…

You must consciously rebuild that safety internally.

Because more money won’t fix it.

It is not how much you make.

It’s how safe you feel.

If you don’t build that safety, you will:

Overwork.
Overlaunch.
Overmonitor.
Overreact.

I’ve done all of it.

This season proved to me that the internal work stuck.

I was grieving.

I was exhausted.

But I was not terrified about money.

And that made all the difference.

It allowed me to be present.

To care for Martin.

To focus on what actually mattered.

How Alignment Supports This Wall

Remember the pyramid.

Alignment is the foundation.

Mindset is one of the structural walls rising from it.

The stronger your foundation of alignment, the steadier your mindset wall becomes.

Daily nervous system regulation.
Daily grounding.
Daily trust.

They rewire you over time.

And when a storm hits, you’ll discover that it’s real.

And I got to discover something truly beautiful.

There is no part of me left that is a part of that terrified single mum.

A Gentle Check-In for You

If your income stopped tomorrow – for a month, two or three…

What would happen to you – and I mean inside your body?

Your chest?
Your stomach?
Your sleep?

Would you go into survival mode?

Or would you remain steady?

Your honest answer tells you how strong this wall is.

And if the answer isn’t what you want it to be, that’s not shameful.

It’s information.

It simply tells you where to build.

What I’m Strengthening Now

What this experience has reinforced for me is this:

Mindset stability is reinforced by sound business design.

If I had built something that constantly requires me to perform, hustle, or be visible to feel safe, my nervous system could never fully settle.

So I’m doubling down on simplicity.

Less complexity.
Less constant visibility.
More depth.
More sustainability.

Because internal stability and external structure mirror each other.

If I want my business to remain unshakeable, it has to embody the values I teach:

Alignment.
Stability.
Integrity.

That’s the work.

And that’s the example I choose to set.

In the next episode, we’re going to talk about the wall that deeply supported this calm mindset:

Money management.

The buffers.
The discipline.
The systems.

Because mindset and money are deeply intertwined.

And I’ll share exactly what made the difference.

I’ll see you there!