Stop fighting about money

Stop fighting about money

Let’s talk about what’s going on when you’re constantly fighting about money with your partner. 

It’s not fun, right?  So we want to deal with it, solve it and resolve it and get you back to a peaceful place where money isn’t causing such a rift in your relationship.

Now, the first thing to understand is that when there are arguments about money, it comes from an underlying fear. 

So the first thing you want to do is start to look into is, is it his fear, or your fear? 

And, at the end of the day, it actually doesn’t even matter. But it is important to recognize your own fear within that because if you weren’t also fearful (even if he was) you wouldn’t feel the need to be defensive, right? 

So, it comes back to:

“Everything on the outside of you is a reflection of what’s going on on the inside of you”.

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So, particularly with our life partner, we’re constantly reflecting and mirroring and shadowing off each other. 

So sometimes, we will project all our unresolved things that we’re not really ready to deal with onto them. So we go, “You’re doing this, you’re doing that, you’re doing that,” but what it really is, there’s a part of us that doesn’t like the fact that we sometimes do that or maybe we are currently doing it and we’re just not owning up to it, not even to ourselves.

So, the bottom line is that you need to heal the fear within you, because it’s just causing a vicious spiral.

And when you get to a place where you no longer hold the fear around finances then, first of all, they won’t be mirroring it back to you. And even if they have their own fear going on, your energy, your calmness, your “Hey babe, it’s okay, we’re all sorted,” will actually start to rub off on them. 

They will start to resonate more and more with where you’re at once you are stable enough in your own state of being chilled about money and knowing it’s all under control, there’s plenty more coming and we’re okay, babe.

So, like everything else, really, that I teach you, it’s all about you, because you are the creator of your life and you are this beautiful energy with consciousness so you get to cause that effect on the energy field around you and your partner will just pick up on what’s going on with you. 

So, start fixing what’s going on within you and your world will shift.

Now, if you want to get stuck into it straight away, then make sure you grab my Manifesting Money Training. This 25-minute video training takes you through the 5 reasons you’re not manifesting more money – and what to do about it!

It’ll go a long way towards healing those underlying fears that I’ve just talked about and help you have a much more harmonious relationship about money with your partner. So grab that from the link in the description.

I will see you next time. Keep on embracing your beautiful and unlimited potential.

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Why manifesting money is hard

Why manifesting money is hard

If you’ve been wondering why is it that you can manifest all sorts of cool stuff except for money, then this one is for you.

So, why is money different? Why is money hard?

Why is it though you can manifest beautiful car parks, or maybe you can win competitions or even holidays, or you can manifest the right man or woman of your dreams, but when it comes to money, it’s different. It’s hard.

Money doesn’t want to show up.
Money doesn’t want to flow.
And the harder you try, the worse it seems to get.

Well, I’m here to tell you the truth and the truth may sting.

But trust me, this is for your own good.

The reason that money is different and hard is because you’re making it so.

 

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You decided at some point that money is different and money is hard. And this Universe is simply a reflection of your belief system… of your vibrational set-point. It will reflect back to you everything you believe to be true… everything you’re putting into it.

Because, really, all this Universe is an ocean of motion… an energetic soup. And you’re a part of that.

Your energy is constantly flowing out – transmitting out to the field – and then by law of resonance and law of attraction, you get matching things coming back to you.

Your vibration, as much as you think, “I want money.” You actually mean “I want money. Give me the money!”

What it actually is is:
“Why is money hard?”
“Money is different.”
“Money is still not showing up. It didn’t show up last time; I hope it shows up this time.”
“It better bloody show up this time.”
“Oh my god! It still hasn’t shown up yet.”
“There’s no money.”
“Money is hard.”
“Money is not showing up.”
“Why is money so different and so hard?”

That’s the vibration that you’re really sending out.

And so the Universe mirrors and echoes it back to you. It’s just an echo coming back to you.

That’s what your current financial situation is all about. It’s an echo of the vibration you’ve sent out into the field.

And I know this can be a little bit hard to swallow.

I’ve had to have moments where I need to sit down and go, “Yup.”
Really, the only person that you can blame or hold accountable is the person in the mirror.

This is not always what we want to hear when we’re not getting what we want.

But it is the truth.

And the reason that this keeps happening is because you probably have a tendency – like most humans – to reference what you expect to get in the future from what has happened in the past.

We’re surrounded by people – like our parents – who have been programmed into, “You’ve got to work hard for money.”
“Don’t ask for more than your fair share.”
“You don’t deserve that yet; you haven’t worked hard enough.”

All this sort of stuff.

“Don’t be greedy now.”

All these kinds of messages program us to believe that money is different and money is hard.

So every time you’re referencing the past, you’re driving looking at the rearview mirror thinking it’s your windshield.

What that means is that you end up in the same place over and over and over again. 

You’re using your past experience to create your future. 

It’s happening because you’re unconsciously in a habit of believing that the past is the truth. And by believing that the past is the truth, you make it your future.

But the truth is whatever you choose to make it.

The truth is whatever you choose it to be.

So, what you actually need to do is to make a decision that you will stop referencing your present and your future by the past because money doesn’t have memory. 

Energy doesn’t have memory; it just responds in the moment.

This law of vibration… law of resonance… it’s a moment by moment proposition.

So, whatever happened in the past, it’s totally irrelevant… unless you choose to remember it. Because then, you’re making it your current vibration which creates your future reality.

So you need to make that decision to draw a line in the sand and stop referencing everything you believe to be true by past experience because all it does is recreate it.

Draw a line in the sand and choose to start a fresh slate right now.

Wipe the slate clean. Start fresh. See what’s possible.

This can be challenging. It can be confronting.

And it does mean that if you’re not surrounded by the right kind of people it is difficult because this programming is all around us.

Most people aren’t even aware that they’re constantly repeating it. And so, people are running around the whole time programming and reprogramming one another into these old patterns… into these old belief systems.

So it’s really important that you get yourself a powerful community that gets it… that understands what you’re all about and that goes, “Yup. Even though this might be happening now, this is happening because of my past vibration and it’s totally irrelevant.”

The only thing that matters is what you choose now.
What you choose to think, believe… how you choose to speak and act right now in this moment. Because this moment is your moment of power where you create your future.

So, the reason that money is hard and is different has been (up until now) is because – up until now –  you chose to believe so.

Because up until now, you chose to reference everything by the past and by what you heard from other people.

And all you need to do to shift that is to stop referencing what you believe to be true about money based on the past experience and wipe the slate clean.

You can totally do this.

Surround yourself with the right people. Get some support. I’ve popped a link in the description to one of my free resources to help you with that… to help you stay on track.

So please grab that.

Find yourself an amazing community of like-minded women like my Manifesting Circle Facebook Group and make sure you immerse yourself deeply into an environment that will help you to wipe the slate clean every single day.

Because right now, you’re creating your future.

I’m going to leave it right there. You know what to do. The link is in the description.

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Why you’re manifesting more problems

Why you’re manifesting more problems

Contrast is when things happen that you prefer not to happen – usually what we label a ‘problem’. 

Or if you want to reframe it slightly, a challenge. 

Or if you want to reframe it even more, contrast that gives you clarity about what you DO actually want.

Here’s the thing with contrast…

See, we’re raised in this world where we’re told that when stuff is unwanted, we have to fight it really hard.

But what we actually do by doing that is… it’s like quicksand – the harder you fight it, the more it sucks you in!

It sucks you under and you cannot get away from it. What then actually happens is you start spinning on the spot.

You get stuck in the contrast. 

It’s all you can see and so you just keep activating more and more of the same.

It takes a little bit of retraining, so here’s how:

 

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Be kind to yourself. Start becoming aware that when something happens, you have a choice on how you want to react.

Yes, some things will happen that will really upset you.

Some things will upset you just a little bit, and you can choose to allow yourself to get sucked into it and go deeper into the quicksand. 

Or, you can choose to go, “I don’t like that at all.” Then stop – pause. Realise it is this contrast thing, and this is an opportunity for you to get clarity on what it is you do actually want.

From there you have another choice:

Do you want to complain that you don’t have what you really want and instead you got this thing just now AGAIN that you don’t want, or do you go, “Thank you for giving me clarity that THIS is really what I want.” And let that go. Let it go down into the quicksand without you, and you go after THIS.

Start focusing on THIS. Start looking at ways you can make THIS happen. 

Start looking for evidence on how things like that, or little signs and glimpses of it are ALREADY appearing in your experience.

You’ll actually activate more and more of this, and you’ll start moving in that direction.

So the message from this Effectology  tip is simple: 

Use the contrast as the bouncing platform to take you in the direction of where you do actually want to go. Do not allow yourself to get sucked in by it and dragged under. Because you’ll end up stuck there.

That’s a really powerful tip.

Try it on little things. Don’t go for the biggest, most important problem in your life right now. Just try it on something little. Somebody not letting you in traffic. Or something that, really, is not a big deal and just use it.

Use it to train yourself to stop, step away from it and think, “This just gave me clarity on what I do want… what I do appreciate. And look how much evidence of that there is in my life.”

And you’ll start noticing some really major shifts and it doesn’t take very long.

Off you go.

Play with that and please come back and leave me some comments to let me know how it goes.

To help you step away from contrast so you can attract more money and abundance into your experience, jump on my ‘Manifesting Money Training’.

You can get it from the link below.

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Grab the free Manifesting Money Training here:

3 Hot Tips for Rewiring Your Brain With A New Money Story

3 Hot Tips for Rewiring Your Brain With A New Money Story

We all know that the unconscious mind is where all the hot action is, right?

Because everything that’s going on for you at the conscious level – 98% of that in fact – is completely driven by the unconscious mind.

The unconscious mind is brilliant. It takes over. It takes care of things for you.

It keeps your heart beating, your lungs inflating. It makes sure you don’t think about how to tie your shoelaces or get dressed in the morning, or how to walk for that matter. Remember trying to learn that? Yeah… me neither.

These things can be difficult in the beginning but once we master them, we become unconsciously competent. 

We just do them without even thinking about it.

 

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So they get wired deep into our unconscious mind and they just kind of happen. They’re just on autopilot, which is fantastic for a huge number of things in life. Because I don’t know about you, but I’m a bit too busy to think about keeping my heart beating, and my lungs inflating.

However, what also happens is that sometimes we take on a story, a belief system, and we wire that into our unconscious mind.

Then everything we create, the way we unconsciously behave, the way we see the world and what we expect to get out of the world matches that unconscious belief. So we keep perpetuating this reality over and over and over again, and even though we may not like it, we kind of feel like we’re stuck with it… until we do something about it.

Doing something about it is all about starting to write and starting to live a new story.

When it comes to attracting money and abundance, growing your business, and all that good stuff, you’ve got an underlying old story that says, “This is how things roll.”

As you start to want to create a new story to replace it, you need to start talking about that story. You need to start acting in alignment with that story.

Now, the problem is that a lot of people go too fast, too hard.

They kind of stuff it up because what they inadvertently do is they wire in even more deeply the fact that there is a problem. By trying to fight it too quickly and go too hard too fast they’re actually being counter productive.

So that’s actually the first of the three tips I want to give you for writing a new money story:

Number one, don’t go too hard, too fast.

Go easy and realize that little incremental shifts that actually stick, are going to get you a whole lot further than you trying to make some ridiculous jump overnight that even when you’re saying it and thinking it, there’s a voice in the back of your mind that says, “What a load of bullshit.”

You want to NOT activate that voice that says, “This is bullshit.” That’s basically the aim of the game.

So go slowly and gently enough that you’re not activating that voice. Listen for it. If that voice pops up, back up a little bit and go a little gentler. You can do that over and over and over again and you are absolutely making progress.

The second tip I want to give you is that as you start talking about the way you do want things to be now, the way things are starting to become, you do exactly what I just did and you use “transitional language.”

“Starting to.”

“Becoming.”

“In the process of.”

And when you talk about the old pattern, put it in the past with your language.

Talk about what you used to do, and “In the past…”, and, “Back then this was an issue… but now I’m starting to see things differently. Now I’m starting to feel empowered about my money. Now I’m starting to notice that there’s opportunities everywhere. Now I’m starting to realize that the less I focus on and stress about money, the more money seems to flow, in fact I’m starting to think maybe that’s the secret to the whole thing, that I just focus on all the good stuff in my life, stop obsessing about money, and more money flows, because it happened again last week.

That little bit I added at the end there “because it happened again last week,” that’s the third tip I want to give you.

The third tip is to use what I call a “Universal Truth.”

Put in statements that you know to be true, and that you cannot argue with. Ones that voice that likes to yell out, “Bullshit,” from the back row cannot argue with.

I like to have a universal truth and yes, you can do it the way I just kind of gave you the example, where you state an actual thing that happened.

But a Universal Truth – even better – is like a mantra that you say right there and then as it’s happening. It’s you reinforcing that,”Yes, this is now starting to happen. This is now becoming my new reality. Yes, this is possible and these moments do happen. Look at that, I wasn’t even thinking about my business and people booked in and so it is true that I don’t have to be obsessing about it 24/7 to make money, in fact, sometimes, I’m doing nothing to do with my business and the money just flows.”

You want to reinforce it when it’s actually happening. Jump on that opportunity, pounce on it –  because this is your chance to really hammer it home, to really wire that into your unconscious mind.

So have a universal truth statement that you’ve got ready – because I’m pretty used to doing this and it kind of just flows – but in the beginning particularly, you want to have that universal truth statement ready.

It may sound something like, “But of course, there’s always plenty of money coming,” or, “But of course, everything always works itself out.” You want a statement that you cannot argue with, and that is a universal truth that you use in the moment that applies across the board.

Things like, “That’s right, the universe always has the bigger picture in mind,” and, “That’s right, the universe is always looking out for me,” and, “That’s right, everything’s always working out,” and, “That’s right, money always shows up,” or, “That’s right, the bills do always get paid.”

So you have that universal truth, you have that statement ready, and you throw it in there. And you want that to be very general, a very nice general statement. Something, like I said, that the voice from the back row has nothing to talk about.

So my favourite universal statement is, “Everything is always working out for me. It all works out.”

Mike Dooley mentioned one, I don’t know if it’s actually his that he uses regularly, but he says one and it was, “It’s always working”.Even though I can’t always see it, it’s always working.”

What that does, is you’re using it right there in that moment and it helps you really wire in that this is the new reality.

So remember that, number one, don’t go too hard too fast.

Number two, use transitional language.

And number three, use those statements of universal truth to keep reinforcing right then and there that everything is always working out for you because, baby, it totally is.

Now, as far as rewriting your money story goes, the number one place to start is the very tip of the iceberg. When you start at the tip of the iceberg, you make sure you don’t miss anything.

The tip of the iceberg is called your Money Habit Archetype. It is that big picture pattern of how money shows up for you in your life, over and over and over again. It encompasses all the little different situations. Once you become really aware of that and know how to use that, then you can use that information to rewrite that old money story, so the pattern that’s surfacing can shift.

So it starts with knowing your Money Habit Archetype and if you haven’t done it for a while – or if you’ve never done it – then make sure you jump on my Money Habit Archetype quiz, to which you will find the link in the description.

So hop to it, get started now!

Let’s transform that money story of yours, remember the three hot tips I gave you, and until I see you next, make sure you keep embracing your unlimited potential.

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What’s Your Money Habit Archetype?

What’s Your Money Habit Archetype?

Do you know what your Money Habit Archetype is?

Okay, so there are, three broad categories of “habit archetypes” that people fall into when it comes to money.

The thing with money is that we have these habit patterns and they don’t really change that much unless we do something major to shift them.

That’s because a habit is an unconscious pattern in the nervous system, which means that you’ll repeat it over and over and over again without giving it any conscious thought.

You’re unconscious to it.

It just happens automatically on autopilot and meanwhile you’re washing the dishes or on Facebook or whatever you’re doing, and you don’t realize what is going on.

We operate unconsciously about 98% of the time, so it’s not just you, it’s how the human mind works.

When it comes to money, like I said, there are three broad categories of Money Habit Archetype.

 

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Now, they are:

Number one: The Accumulator.

The Accumulator is somebody who always seems to manage to put some money away. No matter what’s going on, they’ve always got a bit leftover and they tuck it aside. So that is the Accumulator.

Number two: The Spender.

This is the person who always kind of breaks even. Money comes in, money goes out. Really, they just spend everything that comes in, everything they earn, and every dollar has an important… or not so important job to do and there’s nothing left.

And the third: The Overextender.

The Overextender is the one that always seems to have not quite enough and is constantly going backwards. They’re constantly accumulating debt, because they spend more than they earn.

Now the really interesting thing about this is that it actually makes no difference as to how much money you make to what habit archetype you are.

The habit archetype has to do with the patterns that are running deep in your subconscious basement. They’re running the show, so the numbers are irrelevant.

You can be an Overextender who always goes into a bit of extra debt, earning $20,000 a year. You can be an Overextender, then as life progresses you’re making $60,000 a year, but still it’s not quite enough because you want that lovely car and you want to live in a nicer place than you can really afford. And then say you do build a business that becomes successful and you’re turning over a million or more, and you decide that you really do want the Ferrari, you want the Porsche as well, and you want to have those amazing holidays in the Maldives while they’re still above water level.

So, no matter how much you’re earning you’re still always just stretching yourself beyond your means, so it’s got nothing to do with how much money you make. That means that if you want to change that pattern, that end result, it’s not just about looking at how can I bring in more money, it’s actually about looking at, “Hm, this pattern… what’s going on with that and what’s that all about?”

So, an easy way to figure out which of those three you fall into, is to look back to your childhood. Think about what you were like as a kid with pocket money or with your first job and you’ll find that it’s actually still the same.

The interesting thing is that the people who are Accumulators, they always feel like, “Yeah I’m saving money but it’s just not enough, there was more to be saved so maybe I’m not an Accumulator, maybe I’m a Spender”. So if that’s how your brain is firing right now, just know that if you’re somebody who says, “Ugh, I only have $10,000 in the bank and it’s just not enough,” you’re an Accumulator.

So what I wanted to let you know is that, you need to figure out what you are and the easiest way to do is to go back to early childhood, because most likely it’s been that recurring pattern ever since.

Then figure out where that came from.
Why do I feel like it’s just never enough?

Most of us just think that if we just became an Accumulator everything would be great, but the interesting thing is, I know lots of Accumulators who are really unhappy about their financial situation, because the undercurrent is that, “It’s not enough, and I’m not safe. No matter how much is in the bank, I’m not safe.”

Or maybe you’re a Spender and you do spend every dollar that comes in, but you’re doing that from the point of view of, “I trust that all my needs are always being met. I trust that I’m able to generate any amount of money I need, and I trust that my bills are always paid, and I trust that I always find the opportunities to help me create more money, so spending isn’t a big deal, because there’s always more coming in.”

If you’re a Spender, and you’re always breaking even, and that is your mindset… that’s awesome! That’s actually fabulous, because the bottom line is that how much money is in the bank is irrelevant, it’s how you FEEL about it that is relevant.

So, if you don’t feel good about your financial situation and your Money Habit Archetype – the way that you operate around money right now – then you do need to go back and just ask the questions, “Where did I learn that? Where did I learn that that’s important or that’s the way things work?” Start to unravel some of those things.

Start to ask yourself those sorts of questions.

Questions are powerful, and on that note before I let you go, I encourage you to do my quiz. I’ve got this great quiz which actually lets you know what the next step is to creating a life of abundance & joy.

We don’t want to be rich and feel like crap and feel like it’s not enough. We want all of it.

So if you feel like that’s not quite humming for you please take my quiz, the link is in the description and it’ll help you work out what your next step from here is, so that you can create that abundant life for yourself.

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Take the Money Habit Archetype Quiz so you can clear your biggest money block.